Needless to say, I’m no doctor, so not knowing what my malfunction is…is no surprise. Having had my bouts with melancholy, while few, and far between, have been bunching closer, and closer together. My emotions have been creeping closer to the forefront. Not a feeling that I’m fond of having.
Though I have known some bittersweetness, I haven’t known it to the point of jumping off a hi-rise, or drinking some “funny” koolaid, or playing roulette, of the Russian kind. At the same time, I get why people decided to “check” out sooner that’s intended. Everything in their life is floating, bottoms up, coming up craps, or somehow circling the drain, and all you want is to take some measure of control of your life, even if it’s in it’s last moments.
The irony of ironies for me is…though I can relate to those who may already want to call it a life, I can only wish to have that calling, but no. Unless I accidentally, on purpose, die as a result of fatality bu Cop, or become lax, not paying attention traffic laws, my pennance will be to live among all of you, many of whom are like me, figuring out day, by day, how to make it through life.