Where 2 begin, where 2 begin? 1st off the bat, this isn’t going 2 be a self pity party that I’m holding in my honor. It is going 2 be a reflective, honest, & perhaps somewhat dreary account of my life 4 roughly the last two plus yrs.

Certainly I’m not the person struggling w/ unemployment, & pending eviction. That said; when life gives u lemons, & whatnot, right? Anyhoo…this month has been a real roller coaster ride. Around the 2nd week in July, a good friend of mine brought me a care package (toiletries, food, etc) As such, I no doubt, appreciated it….immensely!!! Funny thing is…my friend always tries 2 be mindful of my eating habits, so as not 2 have anything w/ meat, or eggs in it, since l don’t eat those things (yet). Of course….there r some things that fall between the cracks. In this case it was a couple of cans of split p soup. One w/ ham, the other, bacon. After being tired w/ false calls pertaining 2 potential employment, and now having only the two cans of soup 2 get my eat…..on. Frustrtation was weighing heavily on me. Normally l would’ve just fasted until I could hustle some money up, or wait 4 my bridge card 2 kick in. Since l had been partaking of what the street had 2 offer by way of sustenance (meaning if l could find something salvageable on the street, sidewalk, refuse container, or whathavya, l wasn’t going 2 let my pride get in the way)

So l ate the soup, shortly there after, l picked up various discarded items {fries, burger, etc}, then the next thing u know….it was a carnivore calvacade! Between the 3rd of Aug, and the 15th, l had so much fried chicken, it wasn’t even funny. Then there was the pretzel burger, bbq ribs, a meatlovers pizza, and of course egg infused deserts. Oddly enough…ppl r surprised when l say 2 them; l never had a craving 4 meat. It was simply me giving in 2 despair. 4 those who may wonder (since l’ve been a non meat eater 4 nineteen yrs) do i have any guilt? l do!! However it’s because of my decimated resolve, not because of any philosophical, or psuedo spiritual kinship that l have w/ my animal brethren. l never stopped being a meat eater because of any health reasons either. l stopped eating meat, simply because l could. W/ that…you’d think that there wouldn’t be any regret on my part in “giving in”, yet the guilt pangs r huge.  

I figure that’s the weight that l put on my own shoulders. As it stands, l don’t know if l’ll make Aug also the month when l go back 2 being an omnivore, or if l’m just going 2 concentrate more on health, and not worry about the veggie world, except 4 how 2 incorporate them in2 a “balanced diet.

Well…as the Earth spins on its axis, l guess l’ll trudge through, & find my way. After all, they say (whoever they r) All in good time.